


the beatles crackchat

by orphan_account



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: But Sweet, Multi, and kind of a hot, but kind of a hot works too, hoe i meant, i carnt spell, i love these boys, im probably going to forget ab this, its whatevrt, jaul mclennon, john loves paul, literally everyone is in here, paul is mean, paul loves john, this is a fail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 14:07:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20676650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: a bunch of hooligans





	1. Chapter 1

george: guys stuart trapped me in the school lockers and then he took me out so him and pete could throw tomatoes at me

paul: who? 

george: stuart :(

paul: idk who that is, but anywayS

john: LDNSKKCJWWKCKFB NOT STUART i’m sorry geo i’ll go talk to him 

paul: lmao do it john. talk to him. i dare you. 

john: aight bet, brb

paul: YOU ELF DICK SON OF A BITCH

george: i’m covered in tomato sauce

ringo: paul stu is nice 

paul: shut up dwarf

ringo: you-

ringo: ok

george: paul stop being a cock 

paul: john hasn’t cocked me down since last week so i’m moody :( 

ringo: c o c k 

-john added stuart to the group chat-

-paul has left the group chat- 

john: ohmygod

stuart: hey bbys 

george: thank you john, ima shower now

ringo: why shower when i can just lick you

george: chill dawg

stuart: i said; HEY BBYS

john: hi side bitc- stuart

ringo: johnny you don’t deserve paulie 

george: john a cheat 

john: john a bad bitch

george:

john: 

ringo:

john:

stuart: 

pennywise: wh- 

ringo: no you ain’t 

george: i’m telling paul that you’re being a whotre

john: i don’t know what whotre means so

-ringo changed george’s username to whotre- 

whotre: bitch fuck you 

john: paul called you daddy earlier 

whotre: i treat him like the baby he is 

stuart: paul a little bitch if not anything else 

ringo: paul’s nice :(

-whotre added paul to the group chat-

george washington: i’m just now figuring out this group chat is unnamed 

ringo: george is right, someone name this group chat 

paul named the group chat: FUCK JOHN 

stuart: i 

john: paulie? 

paul: john how could you. i sucked your hideous toes. i did your laundry. i took care of julian. i-

paul: what the fyck is george washington doing here 

whotre: i dunno but his breath hittin

ringo: how does he have breath when he doesn’t have teeth 

george washington: fuck y’all 

paul: i’m single now so hit me up ;) 

john: SAYS WHO???:!2!

ringo: are we going to ignore the fact that george is covered in tomato sauce and that stuart basically ridiculed his very being 

paul: lmao yes 

whotre: ykw i was defending you earlier paul but i hope you get cheated on sfianBITCH

paul: i’m never getting into another relationship again but okay??? lmao? 

john: paulie i’m sorry :(

paul: yeah you are a sorry ass person. 

stuart: OHHSJAICIWNAKDLV

george washington: the pretty boy seems to be upset, maybe i can add thomas jefferson and you can help him write the declarati-

whotre: sir if you haven’t noticed, we’re british???!:!/‘

george washington: oh i thought y’all were lesbian

paul:

whotre: 

john:

stuart:

ringo: 

george washington: 

pennywise: well- 

ringo: george let’s wash you up 

whotre: i’m still in school, i’m lost really 

john: idk what to do lmao kinda lost knowing paul hates me 

paul: sucks don’t it 

stuart: john are you forgetting that i exist 

paul: your irrelevance makes it quite common 

john: he- 

paul: okay i’m sorry that was mean

stuart: *sends middle finger emoji*


	2. halloween shenanigans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys dress up for halloween

paul: george, what's your costume?

whotre: a vampire, i want to see yours but i can't find you

paul: i'm- my costume is embarrassing

stuart: just like your personality

paul: shut up fat

-paul changed stuart's name to fat-

freddie: ohio

george: freddie you don't even go to this school plasfuckfsknrg

ringo: HE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE

freddie: but i'm here so

roger: where the bitches at

freddie: *dicks

roger: a ha ha no

john: ew a blonde

roger: ew a..you

paul: LMAO ROGER

whotre: freddie's wearing a leotard and i see his body hair, i'm about to gag

freddie: you know what?everybody watch out. because i'm about to turn left and i don't want to smack you with my dick.

roger: i

whotre: ok

john: yeah so anyways, paul i miss you beb

paul: f u m8te go fuc stusrt

john: i'll beat you back into loving me >:(

paul: i- wh- stop that's hot 

ringo: YALL I PUT ON A DRESSDDJXJ

fat: LET US C

ringo: DUCKCIFND NO I CANT FKSNDKC

freddie: get the image of ringo satellite in a dress out of my head or i'll jump

paul: SHDISIXIDHSVKG FREDIDEHEH

paul: i like freddie now

freddie: i'd fuck you but you look like a girl

paul: i don't like freddie now

john: freddie i'll kill you

freddie: :(

freddie: roger they're bullying me

roger: i'm dressed like a school girland leave my soulmate alone before i harvest your flesh and skin you like turkey the day before thanksgiving

whotre: roger you look good as a school girl tbh

roger: i know buck

ringo: are we going to ignore what he jus-

john: zzckdksjdkldg "buck"

ringo: i- ok

-john changed whotre's name to buck-

paul: roger you're dressed a schoolgirl? because i am too

john: WHAHSSHHWHEHF LET ME SEE

paul: i-no you guys will bully me and i'll forever burn

buck: still fuck you paul but i'll support you

roger: paul looks more like a girl than i do so fucidkfldfn

paul: oh fuck-

fat: i didn't get dressed for halloween because that's that kiddy shit i've grown out of

john: ^^^^

paul: now i really am not coming out now

buck: do it paul, just ignore them

ringo: i'm about to sneak into the auditorium and twirl around on stage

buck: FYCCJSK I NEED TO SEE

elton john: sup folks

freddie: SHARONNN

elton john: oh no wait-

-elton john left the group chat-

freddie: :(

john: what's with everyone name being john, i was the first john in the music bidness

paul: lie again

john: budnesrj buffet bussienes

roger: boys keep flirting with me, like i'm just trying to get to the audition

ringo: what auditi- we’re just going to the auditorium??

paul: i want to go but i'm in the bathroom because of my dumb insecurities

john: i'm sure you'll look beautiful paul

paul: shut up bitch

fat: LMAKCJSKXCIGH

freddie: its just me and ringo in the auditorium, y'all so slow

roger: freddie i'm- im uncomfortable im shaking they keep flirting with me

freddie: just smile and wave

roger:

freddie: okay fine

ringo: don't leave me all alone i'm getting warmed up

fat: ringo im literally watching you

buck: get away from my boyfrirnd boyfriend stealer

fat: how do you spell boyfriend wrong and right in the same sentence..

paul: guys., i'm coming out the bathroom now, i'm frgibrtly scsfeffndjcj

john: paul stop being a stubborn brat and let me love you again because you know miss when i hug you and fuck you at the same time

paul: JOHNSNSNDNC

see yeah we-

george washington: ohmygodh stop

-john sent an explicit video into the group chat-

roger: WHAT THE

freddie: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

paul: JOHN IS- DID YOU MAKE A SEX TAPE OF US FUCKING?

george washington: paul's the bottom?

ringo: guyshsgssv i'm in public

john: deadass thought this was me and paul's dm imfmnssjkcs

paul: john whar rhe fucm is wrong with you i'm so embarrassed

buck: you don't see that everyday

paul: i'm going to cry.

john: OAUL I SWEAR I DIDNT MEAN TO SEND IT HERE

freddie: paul's so tiny lmao

roger: FREDDIE DHSHSHDICKSHSHV

ringo: wow what a moment

paul: no i'm not you son of a b-

freddie: he's looks so tiny against john i meant.

paul: oh

freddie: that's right bitch, wait until i'm done typing to speak.

john: paul look at your dm

paul: no, don't ever talk to me again.

john: please:(

paul: fine.

fat: john looks like he fuckin it good

buck: you would know

fat: shut up skinny

paul: john wrote me fucking 10 essays about how much he loves me and i'm conflicted whar the fuck

freddie: i write songs about how much i love people and tell them that they aren't meant for them lmfkxchskxofhskv

john: paul :(

paul: fine john we can date. but if you cheat again i'll beat you up. also stuart is no longer your side bitch.

john: YAY!

paul: i love you <3

john: i love you too princest <3

freddie: yeah anyway can you guys hurry up and get to the auditorium

roger: YESHHHSHAGSG

john: "SHAG"

-paul liked john's message-

paul: ringo, i'm here

ringo: PAUL YOU LOOK SO PRETTY WHWHERHFHFJSFNG

freddie: awww look at the little skirt, he makes roger look like a wannabe

roger: paul you dummy bitch why are you so insecure? you have more curves than me i-

buck: wow look at my best mate wow

john: THATS MY BOYFRIEND

fat: he look ugly

george washington: you look fat stuart

ringo: mr washington didn't come here to play

paul: thanks guys, i really appreciate it :( except you stuart, i hate you

fat: muah

john: paul can we shag after school

paul: yes bby, but if you record it without my permission i'm cutting your dick off

•••


End file.
